Welcome to the most important page of the website. The below should be taken as absolute fact, as opposed to subjective opinion. All rankings are from best to worst unless otherwise noted.

Coen Brothers Movies

  1. Fargo
  2. A Serious Man
  3. The Big Lebowski
  4. Barton Fink
  5. No Country For Old Men
  6. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
  7. O Brother Where Art Thou
  8. Inside Llewyn Davis
  9. The Man Who Wasn’t There
  10. True Grit
  11. Intolerable Cruelty
  12. The Hudsucker Proxy
  13. Miller’s Crossing
  14. Burn After Reading
  15. Hail Caesar
  16. Raising Arizona
  17. Blood Simple
  18. The Ladykillers

“Weird Al” Yankovic Albums

  1. Straight Outta Lynwood
  2. Bad Hair Day
  3. Dare to be Stupid
  4. Running with Scissors
  5. “Weird Al” Yankovic: In 3-D
  6. Poodle Hat
  7. Mandatory Fun
  8. “Weird Al” Yankovic
  9. Even Worse
  10. Alpocalypse
  11. UHF
  12. Off the Deep End
  13. Alapalooza
  14. Polka Party!

Pixar Movies

  1. Toy Story 2
  2. Ratatouille
  3. The Incredibles
  4. Finding Nemo
  5. Wall-E
  6. Monster’s Inc
  7. Up
  8. Toy Story
  9. Toy Story 3
  10. Inside Out
  11. Soul
  12. Coco
  13. Incredibles 2
  14. A Bug’s Life
  15. Luca
  16. Toy Story 4
  17. Cars
  18. Cars 3
  19. Finding Dory
  20. Onward
  21. Cars 2
  22. The Good Dinosaur
  23. Monsters University
  24. Brave

Love Actually Plotlines Ranked by How Invested I Get in Them

  1. Liam Neeson and the kid
  2. This space left blank out of respect for Liam Neeson and the kid
  3. Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson (unfortunately i get very invested in this one)
  4. Colin Firth
  5. Hugh Grant
  6. Colin Frissell, sex god
  7. Porn stars
  8. Bill Nighy
  9. Keira Knightley
  10. Laura Linney

The Friends

  1. Chandler
  2. Ross
  3. Phoebe
  4. Joey
  5. Monica
  6. Rachel

The Four

  1. George
  2. Elaine
  3. Kramer
  4. Jerry

The Big Three (Burgers)

  1. Wendy’s
  2. McDonald’s
  3. Burger King

The Big Three (Fries and Nuggets)

  1. McDonald’s
  2. Wendy’s
  3. Burger King

The Prestige Dramas

  1. Twin Peals
  2. The Sopranos
  3. Breaking Bad
  4. Mad Men
  5. The Wire

Theatrically Released Star Wars Movies

  1. The Empire Strikes Back
  2. A New Hope
  3. Return of the Jedi
  4. Revenge of the Sith
  5. The Last Jedi
  6. The Force Awakens
  7. Rogue One
  8. The Phantom Menace
  9. Solo
  10. The Rise of Skywalker
  11. Attack of the Clones
  12. The Clone Wars

Entertainment Media of the 2010s

  1. The Clickhole page “Can you help your dad lose his virginity at the Super Bowl?”
  2. 01/12/13 Baltimore Ravens @ Denver Broncos AFC Divisional Playoff game
  3. TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN
  4. Meme of Jeb Bush having 538 electoral votes
  5. “Rixty Minutes”
  6. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
  7. The YouTube video “Potion Seller”
  8. “Jackson Park Express”
  9. The Grand Budapest Hotel
  10. Oh, Hello on Broadway

Guitar Strings

  1. High E
  2. Low E
  3. D
  4. A
  5. G
  6. B

The Marvel Cinematic Universe

  1. This space left blank out of respect for Spider-Man 2 (2004)
  2. Guardians of the Galaxy
  3. Spider-Man: Far from Home
  4. Spider-Man: Homecoming
  5. Avengers: Endgame
  6. Iron Man
  7. Spider-Man: No Way Home
  8. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
  9. Captain America: Civil War
  10. Guardians of the Galaxy 2
  11. The Avengers
  12. Thor: Ragnarok
  13. Avengers: Infinity War
  14. Captain America: The First Avenger
  15. Black Panther
  16. Ant-Man and the Wasp
  17. Iron Man 3
  18. Doctor Strange
  19. Avengers: Age of Ultron
  20. Ant-Man
  21. Iron Man 2
  22. Captain Marvel
  23. Thor
  24. Thor: The Dark World
  25. The Incredible Hulk

The Beatles Albums

  1. Abbey Road
  2. Rubber Soul
  3. Sgt. Pepper
  4. The White Album
  5. Revolver
  6. Magical Mystery Tour
  7. Please Please Me
  8. Help!
  9. Let It Be
  10. A Hard Day’s Night
  11. Beatles for Sale
  12. With The Beatles
  13. Yellow Submarine

The Beatles Movies

  1. A Hard Day’s Night
  2. Yellow Submarine
  3. Help!
  4. Magical Mystery Tour
  5. Let It Be

Decades of Guitar Music

  1. 1970s
  2. 1990s
  3. 1960s
  4. 1950s and earlier
  5. 1980s
  6. 2000s
  7. 2010s

Decades of Hip Hop

  1. 1990s
  2. 2010s
  3. 2000s
  4. 1980s and earlier

My Personal Favorite 20 Movies, with an accompanying quote

  1. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – “Pardon my French, but you’re an asshole”
  2. The Shawshank Redemption – “I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it’s the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey.”
  3. Young Frankenstein – “Ovaltine!”
  4. Inglourious Basterds – “Attendez la creme…”
  5. Groundhog Day – “Sweet vermouth, rocks, with a twist.”
  6. Back to the Future – “Look, I don’t wanna mess with no reefer addicts, okay?”
  7. The Philadelphia Story – “Oh, C.K. Dexter Haaaaaaven!”
  8. The Empire Strikes Back – “Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.”
  9. The Princess Bride – “I’ve been in the revenge business so long…I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.”
  10. Goodfellas – “Jimmy was cutting every link between himself and the robbery, but it had nothing to do with me.”
  11. Toy Story 2 – “Hey-howdy-hey, I’m on a yo-yo!”
  12. Casablanca – “I bet they’re sleeping. I bet they’re all sleeping.”
  13. Shrek – “I like that boulder. That’s a nice boulder.”
  14. Who Framed Roger Rabbit – “Toons.”
  15. There Will Be Blood – “Because I’m smarter than you!”
  16. 2001: A Space Odyssey – *ape screeching*
  17. Raiders of the Lost Ark – “It’s not the years honey, it’s the mileage.”
  18. Fargo – “Well, I should know, I’m the executive sales manager.”
  19. A Serious Man – “They both go to school, Hebrew school, a good breakfast…”
  20. Fiddler on the Roof – “I am the man of the house, I still have some authority here, and I want to see Motel’s new sewing machine now!”

Bonds

  1. Connery
  2. Moore
  3. Brosnan
  4. Lazenby
  5. Craig
  6. Dalton

Bond Movies

  1. From Russia With Love
  2. Goldfinger
  3. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
  4. Diamonds Are Forever
  5. The Man with the Golden Gun
  6. The Spy Who Loved Me
  7. Moonraker
  8. GoldenEye
  9. You Only Live Twice
  10. Dr. No
  11. Thunderball
  12. Casino Royale
  13. A View to a Kill
  14. For Your Eyes Only
  15. Skyfall
  16. Never Say Never Again
  17. Octopussy
  18. The World is Not Enough
  19. No Time to Die
  20. Spectre
  21. Die Another Day
  22. The Living Daylights
  23. License to Kill
  24. Quantum of Solace

Mayonnaise-based “salads”

  1. Tuna
  2. Egg
  3. Macaroni
  4. Potato

Harry Potter (books)

  1. Prisoner of Azkaban
  2. Chamber of Secrets
  3. Deathly Hallows
  4. Philosopher’s Stone
  5. Half-Blood Prince
  6. Goblet of Fire
  7. Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter (movies)

  1. Prisoner of Azkaban
  2. Philosopher’s Stone
  3. Order of the Phoenix
  4. Deathly Hallows Part 2
  5. Chamber of Secrets
  6. Half-Blood Prince
  7. Deathly Hallows Part 1
  8. Goblet of Fire

Quentin Tarantino Movies (written/directed)

  1. Inglourious Basterds
  2. Reservoir Dogs
  3. Pulp Fiction
  4. Jackie Brown
  5. Django Unchained
  6. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
  7. Kill Bill
  8. The Hateful Eight
  9. Death Proof

The Indiana Jones Series

  1. Raiders of the Lost Ark
  2. The Last Crusade
  3. The Temple of Doom
  4. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Top Ten Spongebob Squarepants Episodes

  1. Band Geeks
  2. Graveyard Shift
  3. The Camping Episode
  4. Chocolate with Nuts
  5. Krusty Krab Training Video
  6. Pizza Delivery
  7. Sailor Mouth
  8. Dying for Pie
  9. Just One Bite
  10. Rock-a-bye Bivalve

Bob Dylan Studio Albums of Original Non-Christian Material

  1. Blonde On Blonde
  2. Blood on the Tracks
  3. Bringing it All Back Home
  4. Highway 61 Revisited
  5. Another Side of Bob Dylan
  6. The Basement Tapes
  7. New Morning
  8. John Wesley Harding
  9. The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan
  10. The Times They Are A-Changin’
  11. Desire
  12. Love and Theft
  13. Time out of Mind
  14. Infidels
  15. Nashville Skyline
  16. Self Portrait
  17. Modern Times
  18. Tempest
  19. Planet Waves
  20. Oh Mercy
  21. Street-Legal
  22. Together Through Life
  23. Rough and Rowdy Ways
  24. Down in the Groove
  25. Under the Red Sky
  26. Empire Burlesque
  27. Knocked Out Loaded
  28. Dylan

Kanye West Albums

  1. Late Registration
  2. MBDTF
  3. College Dropout
  4. Yeezus
  5. Watch the Throne
  6. Graduation
  7. 808s and Heartbreak
  8. Ye
  9. Kids See Ghosts
  10. Donda
  11. Jesus is King

Seasons of…

Mad Men: 4 5 3 7 1 6 2

Breaking Bad: 5 4 3 2 1

Better Call Saul : 3 5 4 2 1

The Sopranos: 1 4 6b 2 6a 3 5

The Wire: 4 3 1 2 5

Twin Peaks: 3 1 fire-walk-with-me 2 OR whole-laura-palmer-storyline 3 fwwm second-half-of-two

The West Wing: 2 1 3 4 7 6 5

Fawlty Towers: 1 2

Spongebob Squarepants: 2 1 3 4 the rest

The Simpsons (classic seasons only): 4 5 6 8 3 7 2

Seinfeld: 3 5 4 7 6 9 8 1

Friends: 5 4 3 2 8 1 7 6 10 9

Stranger Things: 1 2 3

Rick and Morty : 1 2 5b 4b 3 5a 4a

Bojack Horseman: 3 4 2 6 5 1

Parks and Recreation: 4 3 2 5 7 6 1

Arrested Development: 1 2 3 4 5

Big Mouth: 1 4 2 3 5

Fargo: 1 2 3 4

Curb Your Enthusiasm: 7 4 3 6 8 5 1 2 10 9

30 Rock: 2 3 4 5 6 1 7

Wes Anderson Movies

  1. The Grand Budapest Hotel
  2. The Royal Tenenbaums
  3. Fantastic Mr. Fox
  4. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
  5. Rushmore
  6. The French Dispatch
  7. The Darjeeling Limited
  8. Isle of Dogs
  9. Moonrise Kingdom
  10. Bottle Rocket

Paul Thomas Anderson Movies

  1. There Will Be Blood
  2. Punch-Drunk Love
  3. Inherent Vice
  4. Boogie Nights
  5. Phantom Thread
  6. Hard Eight
  7. Magnolia
  8. Licorice Pizza
  9. The Master